My husband took me out on a date one night this winter and I had no idea where we were going. He said it was a dinner in the dark – a blind cafe and the first thought I had was a scene from one of my favorite movies ‘About Time’ where the protagonists first meet, breaking bread in the dark, set up quite literally on a blind date. My experience romantic as it was, since I was with my husband and we got to have elixirs in the form of kombucha and chocolate, had a lovely meal, and got to do something new together, had more to do with a gentle education and enlightenment we received that evening on the many things we take for granted.
It was awkward at first like a blind date but not with each other but the 50 odd people who were going to be in the same dark room with you. We were instructed to switch off our phones and hence had to converse or stare out like we used to back in the day. I was at once thinking of the last time I didn’t look at my phone, especially at a social gathering – to take a picture or respond to a text. Even if I restrained myself which isn’t too hard as I usually throw my phone in another room to charge or prefer to leave it alone, the knowledge that I can access anything I want at any time is always there, always within reach. And here it wasn’t. It was uncomfortable and liberating quite like the experience we were about to have.
The creator of this event, this concept – Rosh gave us a quick intro and asked us to embrace the night with open hearts. After a few ground rules, he introduced us to our blind ambassadors Garrick and Faith. We were then split into groups of six and had to place our hand on the shoulder of the person in front of us and were guided carefully up the stairs, through several sets of heavy curtains into the darkest of rooms until we were seated at our table with our group of six.
My instant inexplicable reaction was to keep my eyes closed, a strange reflex on my part. Slowly I relaxed and opened my eyes. It was still pitch dark, no difference, no grays or shades of black, just nothingness. We paid more attention to the sounds or cacophony around us, not because our senses were heightened – our blind ambassador said that’s a myth – but because we just noticed it more. The food was on our table arranged in a manner that made it easy to navigate. We chatted immediately with our new friends, no holds barred conversations, amazed and enthralled with the goings on and how we reacted and felt about it. Do you remember the movie with Audrey Hepburn where she’s blind and a burglar gets in the house? I cannot stop looking everywhere though I cannot see, one said, which was the opposite of me.
The food took center stage as we each tried to feel our utensils out and get the lay of the land. We helped each other by describing what was in front. We even passed around a basket of bread which was quite a feat. Then we tried to guess what the food was. Our chef was flown in and made a special effort to delight and throw us off with interesting textures and flavors. Kimchi shouldn’t be hard to guess but without the
We had an interactive session wherein we got to ask questions to Faith and Garrick, a natural orator who made us laugh all evening told us the story of how he became blind. I wouldn’t want to spoil it if you ever get to go but it was a spectacular story. Questions ranged from how they dress, how they take care of themselves and navigate. It was, no pun intended, an eye-opener – how we assume things about the differently abled, their race, their color, what’s offensive, the absence of body language and the cues we get from it and last but not the least – the attractiveness, Garrick assures us, could not be determined by holding the wrist as the Ray Charles movie would have you believe. Hogwash he said. How narrow our world view is and how insensitive we can be because of the biases we form out of ignorance or preconceived notions. The biggest lesson I learned that night was to not assume anything. We can offer help, but be sure to ask what kind of help, and respect their choice to refuse any help.
The last 30 minutes or so we were entertained with beautiful music. There was a piano man and then a band that serenaded us with lovely songs in the dark. We were still and listened completely transcended. We were asked to join in towards the end on a song that had the lyrics that went something like ‘… the light in everyone will someday be gone, make me yours …. ‘
Being in the dark meant different things for everyone. Some said it made them feel vulnerable, some said it was scary, others that it was comforting. I felt free, an overwhelming sense of rawness that I couldn’t shy away from. There was no hiding from anything in the dark, especially your naked soul.
The event, I learned later was an experience created to bring about positive social impact and awareness. I was so glad I got to be part of such a unique experience and grateful to cherish all we have, all of which is fleeting . The most ironic thing about the night was that there was only one minor accident. Someone knocked a mason jar off the table. We saw it shatter in the light that was turned on and had now been on for a while 🙂
To learn more please check out the wonderful Blind Cafe
