I’d rather teens today stare into space than into a screen. We’d be hard-pressed to find any though. My kids aren’t teenagers yet but I have plenty of cousins and nieces/nephews who are. Once again Technology with all its virtues still poses a plethora of problems such as the addiction it causes, the lack of real human interaction it perpetuates, not to mention the dangers of the virtual world – bullying, predators, the dopamine effect of a quick hit (or like) that ends up controlling your self-esteem, can cause exclusion, depression etc.
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The really sad thing is that adults are probably no less immune to this epidemic. How many of us can honestly say we don’t get sucked into such addictions? Netflix-binge anyone? Yeah, we’ve all been there and for teenagers, their phone is exactly that. And it’s bad news for all of us.
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I talked to my cousin about this at length. What’s even more appalling is the choices for teens. As a mother to younger kids I know there’s plenty of educational apps available. I was looking around for what’s available for teens and outside of the ever popular apps geared to entertain, connect and might I say addict such as SnapChat, Instagram, Musical.ly etc there aren’t many apps that actually educate, inspire and perhaps reel them in quite the same way.
They feel like pariah’s if they’re not with the program, it’s what teens nowadays use to ‘stay connected’. As much as I don’t subscribe to nor agree to a lot of this we talked about what a middle ground looks like. Here are a few ideas we came up with:
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Adults should practice what they preach (You know you’re just as addicted)
- Want your teen to get better about their phone addiction? Put some skin in the game.
- Make a pact together and follow through.
- Pick a time where you put your phones in the same dresser for an hour or 2 every day
Figure out things to do during the phone-free time
- Exercise/workout/play a sport
- Volunteer at a hospital, at a shelter, for kids or older people. Remembering there are bigger harder things others are dealing with gives you perspective. Being charitable has a host of benefits
- Pick up a mini project – read books, play music, garden, cook meals together
- A part-time job to earn some money is a much better way to hone your skills and build your self-esteem
- Spend time together (talk, walk, music anything to connect) before they fly the roost
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Start with small achievable goals
- Give yourself no more than an hour a day
- Split the hour into two 30 mt intervals
- Then shoot for 30 mts a day
Set up rules to make it easier
- I’ve heard of snap chat streaks (I sort of get it, but no I don’t) If you must keep up with your streak then do it no more than 10 minutes per day
- Have a plan so you appear to be online and up to date but don’t spend as much time keeping up
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Be a role model
- Have a younger sibling, be a role model to them
- Don’t have one? Look for one at Big Brother, Big Sister. It’s a big motivator to want to do better for someone else
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Most importantly – this is for the parents, and I cannot emphasize this enough – don’t be blind. Teenagers, whether they admit it or not still need their parents to be parents. We live in a different time that comes with a completely new set of dangers, a playground most of us have not played in during that incredibly vulnerable, impressionable, the rebellious ‘age of the teens’. They may not like it but they still need the curfews, boundaries, and the monitoring. They will say they hate the vigilance and the rules but they will still be grateful. How do I know? I was a teenager once 🙂
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There’s plenty of links to helpful sites sprinkled across the post but below are a few more:
https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/16-apps-and-websites-kids-are-heading-to-after-facebook
https://www.teensafe.com/blog/is-your-teen-a-smartphone-addict/
