Tides

Shouldn’t it be easier?
Discombobulated as soon as the curtains close
Frequent highs to uncertain lows
I get up from a fever dream and the blues surround me like a blanket ready to swallow me whole
But I’m resisting pausing confused
Do I retreat into these shadows or do I fight against this pattern
Is it my reality or has it been conjured up by me?
I’m tired, is it really so bad? Must I be sad?
Are the only other choices to be ecstatic and joyful?
What’s so wrong with being mellow with a somewhat sallow face
Maybe a little sad with fleeting memories of good times had
Do we have to make sense of it all?
Do I have to pick a state of sorrow if I’m not utterly enthralled?
Does it have to be balanced? And clear?
What if it’s neither?
Can I give up? Why not? Let it go? Just ride this tide, sometimes high and other times low