A few years ago I decided I needed another degree. And so I’m in school now. Their dialog had shifted. When I say ‘their’ I mean those pundits and gurus, on LinkedIn or Inc, or Wired, TeDTalks etc.
It was no longer about women breaking the glass ceiling. There was now a concerted effort to determine why all these amazing women who were stuck in middle management (I had to auto-correct middle from muffle; Ironically I think we are a ‘muffled’ lot) What was preventing them from taking that last leap. Studies showed that most everywhere women were in middle management and getting there was no longer the real issue. It was the leap to executive that was the issue.
Damn! I thought. I missed that train as well. Or maybe I am middle management? I was the same level as a Sr. Manager at my company if you were strictly going by level or rank. Then the article cited the example of this VP trying to move up.
Hmmm. Yep. I missed that boat. I was probably busy trying to stay awake like I am now.
I never was a coffee person until I had to rely on it several years ago when I needed to show up showered and ready for a 6 am video call at work. When I left there, I finally weaned myself off coffee with gradual steps to black tea and finally during covid just hot water. I was so proud of myself. I stopped drinking alcohol, I quit caffeine, was running, intermittent fasting and getting great sleep. All that came to a screeching halt as soon after my first weekend bootcamp. If wakeup call was a pun – this would be where it would star. I quickly crashed into coffee chugging to stay awake, realized my intermittent fasting days were done as I plummeted into near idiocy second day of accounting class – gibberish incoherent thoughts in class. I’m running around in my head and between my laptops but haven’t stepped out for a walk let alone a run and I’m in twilight zone half asleep and never fully awake with a mounting debt of homework and to-do’s and grasping fundamentals while my cohort raced ahead with intelligent questions and problem solving as I scratched my head to get the basics down. And here I was where even coffee wasn’t doing it for me.
It appears I haven’t slept all my life. Like a newly minted mom I’m drooling over my laptop, eyes half shut and drowsy in and out of a trance like sleep. After the first week of immersion on day 1 of work I fell on my keyboard, and of course accidentally turned my video on. The host was kind enough to turn off my video but not quick enough because a few colleagues pinged me saying I seemed to be enjoying the meeting quite a bit. I was one meme away from global infamy as one of my coworkers lamented not taking a video. I would’ve been quite amused myself but am grateful that did not happen. I’d like to try a few other things before I resort to YouTube Infamy as my next step.
I was complaining to my husband, who seems to be ghosting me. I don’t blame him. It’s been well over 16 years since he got his MBA and I seem to think he can tutor me. So, when I was able to corner him, and complained to him about my drowsiness he suggested I maybe think of not turning on the heater at my feet and lay off the two blankets on my chair. I guess he had a point.
But still.
