This year 2020 as despised and deplored as it has been has brought forth some revelations and taught me a few things I’d like to hold on to.
Appreciation – I’m a homebody myself not particularly drawn to crowds or big celebrations. I will participate as needed of course but my preference is the simple pleasures of solitude, endearing heart to hearts with a few close friends or family, people watching and nature gazing or getting lost in a book. So when the quarantine came around, friends teased me that this was my dream come true. I needed no excuse to get out of any social obligations. As we’ve learned though even most introverts got worn out by this long spell. I’m not an overt introvert. I like to mingle albeit without a spotlight. I loved browsing through book stores or milling about at the groceries, the occasional movie at the theater, a concert or play and getting dressed for special occasions occasionally. My reclusiveness I found has its limits. However little and in whatever micro-doses I realized and recognized my own limitations to anti-socialistic hibernating tendencies.
I now really appreciated all the social traditions, the family and friends and outings I could not access anymore. I appreciated the time to pause and reflect and I will think twice before lamenting about one more thing to do. I’m not going to become a wild party animal, not in the least, not much about that part of me is going to change but I will be more appreciative, respectful and thoughtful to invitations and what we took for granted.
Patience – No year in recent history and especially for my generation has taught us more about being patient. The pandemic bought things to such a stand still and shook us up enough to break away from our gadgets and daily din to actually take notice. We had no choice. There was no din to get back to. We have all become excellent at impatience. We don’t play that waiting game anymore but the irony was that we were now forced to wait and no amount of time on a gadget or the television or our usual choices of instant gratifying diversions could take the uncertainty away. Time ticked on and there was no end in sight. We had to learn to be patient with everything – the world, healthcare, science & scientists, our children. There was no hurrying anything and there were no answers to unearth. We had to wait. And so we waited and if we didn’t know how we learned to have patience.
Gratitude – The amount of gratitude I felt was immense and overwhelming at times for the essential workers, medical health workers, teachers and all those countless humans who devoted their energy, time and life to keep on moving forth. I was moved by the many volunteers and helpful samaritans lending a hand to those in need. I was grateful for my job and that we had more than comfortable lives to persist in these unforgiving times. I was grateful for the job my husband was able to find as our small business got hit and for the choices we were able to make. This period allowed us to really evaluate who we are, what we want and what we need. We were grateful for our health, our loved ones and self-reflection allowed to reaffirm our priorities. My gratitude extended to being able to cherish what we were blessed with in abundance and to pray and act in whatever capacity I could for those who were not as fortunate.
Discipline – Unlike many and like many others my quarantine didn’t afford additional time. I was overworked while working from home and was quite surprised at how that became possible. Our team was known to be busy even otherwise and now it just seemed to get that much more worse. Without boundaries work took over all my time leaving little to fend for my kids and my physical and mental health. After all the novelty of baking bread, knitting & crocheting, chalk mazes on the sidewalk, the occasional bursts of obsessively following the news about the virus, protests, elections, music concerts and zoom parties it boiled down to the few things that stood the test of time and had some sense of routine and discipline around them. I still read a lot, I walked when I could and the only new thing that stuck was gardening.
We have this notion that endless time opens up new doors for us with fantasies of learning new things and accomplishing oh so much. Well, it doesn’t. Or at least it did not for me. What I realized is no matter what the situation, if I lack the discipline I can squander away the plentiful however full my cup runneth over. Discipline is the key to making the most of your time whether you choose to fill that time with meandering about the woods or work, prepare meals and homeschool kids, neither would be possible if you are not purposeful and sensitive to the value of time and how you use it. Discipline holds the key to it all as time and how we spend it is everything.
Hope – Many people lost a lot in 2020 – health, jobs, routines, a semblance of a normal life. And it wasn’t like other existing hardships or tragedies of life took a break. These atrocities were meted out to us on top of everything. And despite it all what survived and still burns bright is hope for tomorrow. Such is the human spirit. And this light of hope keeps on because of those who worked tirelessly to move things forward.
The vaccine is ready and is now being doled out. It may well be sometime next year before some of us get the doses so in essence things are not going to suddenly change. But it still feels like an aftermath and I say this with trepidation so as not to tempt fate. I hope we get some respite and though we don’t know what is coming next we do know what passed. And what passed needs resurrection and rebuilding whether of the spirit, our communities and culture, the economy or to heal broken hearts that lost someone we must hold on to hope.
Last but not the least I’m holding on to Toilet Paper or Bidets (whatever floats your boa(ut)t!
